Weaselbuddha
Member
1G Unmetered VPS & Seedboxes, Your Own 2TB Drive, Anonymous Sign-up: $60USD/Month ( about 48 Euros / 38 GBP )
Chmuranet has stopped at no length to provide you the best in a Seedbox experience
Our hand crafted machines are built from the best E-Bay has to offer:
- Populated with processors only used in Florida retirement homes, on weekends
- Memory sticks smuggled out from a clandestine lab inside North Korea, where they were destined for the rigors of their missile guidance systems.
- SuperMicro motherboards, commissioned for Chmuranet, and specially modified by McLaren Motors for performance.
- Interconnect cables of hand pulled silver wire threads, rolled like cigars by Cuban maidens on their soft lightly tanned thighs.
- 2TB Hard Drives custom fabricated using nanotechnology in a low gee vacuum on our orbital manufacturing satellite, each gently parachuted home just for you.
- All of our chassis are TEMPEST grade V, and are as likely as the cockroach to survive nuclear armageddon.
- Each VPS hand installed to the user's specification with the greatest care by several Danish masseuses, whose cups truly do runneth over.
- To insure your privacy, each of our sysops are like the fabled Tommy: deaf, dumb and blind (upper echelons are also eunuchs) working from braille terminals.
- We have all personally met both Dennis Ritchie and Linus Torvalds, and are required to have long unkempt gray beards.
- Our fiber interconnects to the world's best network carriers are super-cooled using only the finest liquid Helium, collected from Himalayan mountain tops.
- Italian Physicists have personally calibrated our network wire speeds at faster than light.
- Our specially designed server racks mount the server in a downward angle, giving you that performance edge offered by gravity.
- Each invoice is OCR'ed twice before being issued!
All of this luxury can be yours for a mere $60/Month- Memory sticks smuggled out from a clandestine lab inside North Korea, where they were destined for the rigors of their missile guidance systems.
- SuperMicro motherboards, commissioned for Chmuranet, and specially modified by McLaren Motors for performance.
- Interconnect cables of hand pulled silver wire threads, rolled like cigars by Cuban maidens on their soft lightly tanned thighs.
- 2TB Hard Drives custom fabricated using nanotechnology in a low gee vacuum on our orbital manufacturing satellite, each gently parachuted home just for you.
- All of our chassis are TEMPEST grade V, and are as likely as the cockroach to survive nuclear armageddon.
- Each VPS hand installed to the user's specification with the greatest care by several Danish masseuses, whose cups truly do runneth over.
- To insure your privacy, each of our sysops are like the fabled Tommy: deaf, dumb and blind (upper echelons are also eunuchs) working from braille terminals.
- We have all personally met both Dennis Ritchie and Linus Torvalds, and are required to have long unkempt gray beards.
- Our fiber interconnects to the world's best network carriers are super-cooled using only the finest liquid Helium, collected from Himalayan mountain tops.
- Italian Physicists have personally calibrated our network wire speeds at faster than light.
- Our specially designed server racks mount the server in a downward angle, giving you that performance edge offered by gravity.
- Each invoice is OCR'ed twice before being issued!
Disclaimer: The above is only available in an alternative universe that may exist only in the writer's imagination, but the truth is almost as good, please check-out Chmuranet.com
